The 5 Variations of Bear Fan Emotion After a Loss

Being a Bears fan for 16 years now, I can utterly sympathize with the way the team has let its fans down.  Even the 1985 team winning a title is bittersweet for many, as the core of talent that won that championship likely was capable of winning at least another couple Lombardi trophies.  Perhaps that run of success would’ve changed the direction of the franchise for years to come.
As it was, the wheels fell off, and the franchise transmogrified into the bumbling also-ran institution that it remains to this day.  The fanbase has similarly become a reflection of the team in some regards, and unfortunately we’re becoming a bit famous for reasons that I think would serve us well to look at with a twist of hyperbole.  Let’s laugh together at our silliness before we inevitably weep.
5 Variations of Bear Fan Emotion After a Loss
  1. BLAME CUTLER:  Cutler isn’t that great – as a Bear he’s almost a perfect .500 as a starter – and his 151/106 TD/INT ratio in his Chicago career isn’t at all impressive, but at this point it’s almost a running joke to put losses on him. Whether it’s the massive and arguably unwarranted contract extension he got in 2014, the curdled-milk expression often worn on television, or hungover feelings of betrayal regarding the 2011 NFC title game against Green Bay, there is a huge collection of fans who feel in some regards that every flaw and problem with this franchise circles around #6.
  2. BLAME ANYONE WITH A LARGE CONTRACT:  Once the Cutler anger has stopped churning through the veins of an angry meatball, they remember the big news of particularly well-paid players – Lamarr Houston, Alshon Jeffery, Danny Trevathan, Bobby Massie – and the blood pressure rises once again.  How can these guys not live up to expectations with every snap?  Yeah, Jefferies (sic) is good, but why isn’t he making every single catch ever thrown to him? For that money he should be putting up 3 touchdowns a game at least.
  3. BLAME THE GENERAL MANAGER:  This naturally flexes into the most organic upward chute of anger, blaming the top.  It used to be more fashionable to blame the McCaskey family and Ted Phillips, but with the dopey affability of George running the show these days, most fans seem content to start with Ryan Pace.  He’s young, he’s unknown, and through two drafts and free agency classes, the team hasn’t shown to be up to snuff.  Why did they cut Slauson?  Why did they draft these two losers White and Floyd?  They’re busts!  Why did he hire Fox?  I tell ya, I could run a team better dan dis.
  4. ACHE FOR PLAYERS OF OLD, EVEN IF THEY SUCKED:  At least dat McCowen guy was a winner, yeah?  Ortman!  Now dat guy was a winner.  He was a tough cookie!  Walter (first name basis relationship) woulda never put up with dis.  How come day don’t hire Dan Hampton or Dick Butka to be coaches, huh?  Mike Singletary is out dare, yeah?  C’mon already, hire deez guys.  At least they were winners.  I remember dat Brock Forsey guy, he had a 100+ yard game against Arizona back in 2000-somethin’, call him up! Brian Greaseman, Greas-, uh, Greaser?  Anyway, that guy, he was good, too!  Why aren’t day callin’ deez guys, eh!?
  5. BURN DOWN THE WHOLE F**KING THING:  This is sometimes the first step in coping with a disaster year.  Fans with no semblance of tolerance, patience, or have simply had enough begin smashing the bright red button, angrily demanding burning the whole thing to the ground.  FIRE THE GM. FIRE FOX. FIRE ALL PLAYERS (except these four guys, they’re okay I guess).  FIRE THE OWNERS. FIRE CHICAGO.

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